Success In Life!

Are you a Great Conversationalist? Most people are not. Many choose to work with machines rather than talk to people. Are you one of them?

Honestly speaking, I was before. Now, I am still not a great conversationalist. I still have apprehension when speaking to others.

Well, I hope the following 3 skills can help improve your conversation a lot more. These are skills that Brian Tracy taught. Give them a try!

Skill No. 1 Pause Before Replying
One key to becoming a great conversationalist is to pause before replying. A short pause, of three to five seconds, is a very classy thing to do in a conversation. When you pause, you accomplish three goals simultaneously.

The Benefits of Pausing
a) First, you avoid running the risk of interrupting if the other person is just catching his or her breath before continuing.

b) Second, you show the other person that you are giving careful consideration to his or her words by not jumping in with your own comments at the earliest opportunity.

c) The third benefit of pausing is that you will actually hear the other person better. His or her words will soak into a deeper level of your mind and you will understand what he or she is saying with greater clarity. By pausing, you mark yourself as a brilliant conversationalist.

Skill No. 2 - Ask Questions
Another way to become a great conversationalist is to question for clarification. Never assume that you understand what the person is saying or trying to say. Instead, ask, “How do you mean, exactly?”

This is the most powerful question for controlling a conversation. It is almost impossible not to answer. When you ask, “How do you mean?” the other person cannot stop himself or herself from answering more extensively. You can then follow up with other open-ended questions and keep the conversation rolling along.

Skill No. 3 - Paraphrase the Speaker’s Words
The third way to become a great conversationalist is to paraphrase the speaker’s words in your own words. After you’ve nodded and smiled, you can then say, “Let me see if I’ve got this right. What you’re saying is . . .”

Demonstrate Attentiveness
By paraphrasing the speaker’s words, you demonstrate in no uncertain terms that you are genuinely paying attention and making every effort to understand his or her thoughts or feelings. And the wonderful thing is, when you practice effective listening, other people will begin to find you fascinating. They will want to be around you. They will feel relaxed and happy in your presence.

Listening Builds Trust
The reason why listening is such a powerful tool in developing the art and skill of conversation is because listening builds trust. The more you listen to another person, the more he or she trusts you and believes in you.

Listening also builds self-esteem. When you listen attentively to another person, his or her self-esteem will naturally increase.

Listening Develops Discipline
Finally, listening builds self-discipline in the listener. Because your mind can process words at 500-600 words per minute, and we can only talk at about 150 words per minute, it takes a real effort to keep your attention focused on another person’s words. If you do not practice self-discipline in conversation, your mind will wander in a hundred different directions. The more you work at paying close attention to what the other person is saying, the more self-disciplined you will become. In other words, by learning to listen well, you actually develop your own character and your own personality.

Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, make a habit of pausing before replying in any conversation or discussion. You will be amazed at how powerful this technique really is.

Second, continually ask, “How do you mean?” in response to anything that is not perfectly clear. This gives you even more time to listen well.

If you want to learn from the best and at your own time and own pace, here is what Brian Tracy has to recommend.  Click here to view the video.

To Your Financial Freedom,
Peck Ling

From young, we were told not to interrupt conversations as it is considered rude. We were not told why or how this will impact others, their feelings and self-esteem. Many children grow up remembering their manners while some forget theirs, thus hurting people by cutting into conversations and ignoring what others have to say.

I had personally experienced being ignored. It was like what Brian Tracy said, “an emotional slap in the face”.

Do remember to listen to others attentively and do not interrupt or ignore what others say.

Listening helps in sales by boosting our customers’ self-esteem!

You can actually make another person feel terrific about himself or herself by listening in a warm, genuine, caring way to everything he or she has to say. The person would feel important and would be keen to carry on the conversation.

The opposite of listening is Ignoring or Interrupting. This is the fastest way to turn people off. We have a tendency to make some remarks or observation in the middle of a conversation. This is a sure way to abruptly stop the sales conversation.

Learning Points

First, take every opportunity to make the other person feel important by listening attentively to what he or she says.

Second, avoid interrupting the other person by slowing down and pausing for a few moments after he or she has stopped speaking.

To our Good Listening Skills,

Peck Ling

An Automated Money Maker.

It’s The Best Opportunity You Will Ever Have!